Xavier Dagba is a trauma informed transformational life coach, shadow work facilitator, intuitive healer and EFT practitioner. It is his belief that personal freedom can only be achieved when we allow ourselves to welcome the wisdom hidden within every emotional state, good or “bad.” Xavier’s own transformational journey brought him to dive into the universe of shadow work and he tends to think that only when you are willing to integrate your shadows, can you fully claim your power.
Xavier begins by talking about his personal, healing journey. Not even one year into a Ph.D program in Canada, he felt “a deep misalignment” where his life was going. At the same time, he was already on a spiritual path, learning from teachers like Wayne Dyer, Alan Watts and Louise Hay. During this time, he made the decision to leave the program. This led to massive rejection from his family and friends who couldn’t understand his decision. This sent Xavier into a deep depression. He partly felt like he was betraying himself.
One of his teachers told him: “depression is a pain to avoid a deeper pain.” He realized that he kept himself in this depressed state to avoid other emotions like deep shame and anger. Now Xavier helps people to reclaim power and sovereignty over themselves.
Xavier talks about the loneliness of his journey. Everyone was so critical, so he pushed people away. To avoid the pain, he used various coping methods like binge eating. He says: “We go through life living through coping mechanisms, not necessarily choosing consciously in a way that honors our highest good in the moment.”
At this time, he couldn’t afford therapy or coaching, so he read, learned and experimented on himself. One of the first techniques he utilized was Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT.
Xavier also went down the rabbit hole of confronting his own darkness. He talks about this Shadow Work, explaining how it is the practice of integrating what we’ve disowned and pushed into the dark. We refer to the quote by Pema Chödrön: “nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
For Xavier, shadow work is the practice of reclaiming every aspect of consciousness and becoming intimate with it. If you are not intimate with an aspect of yourself, it can take over and even sabotage your life. In this way, we can live from our hearts instead of our wounds.
Xavier says these shadow aspects are neither negative or positive. That is the language of the EGO. He prefers to look at it as pleasant or unpleasant. When he talks about intimacy with these wounded parts of ourselves, he means awareness, acceptance and compassion. This is how we integrate the shadow.
This is challenging work because we’ve been culturally conditioned to view these shadow aspects as unlikeable and unlovable. But he says it’s necessary to give yourself permission to be present with all of your emotions, whatever they happen to be. Very simply, presence heals. This is the invitation of shadow work – to set ourselves free.
Addictions occur when there is something that we don’t want to be present with. And often times, this is a deeper pain or shame. We think that we are broken in some way and that there’s something wrong with us.
Xavier talks about using the Emotional Freedom Technique EFT. This is a powerful tool to release deep and difficult emotions from the body. When you are tapping on the meridians and utilizing self-talk, you are sending instructions to the subconscious.
Xavier talks about being a practitioner of presence. He shares some of the healing tools that help him stay more present such as grounding his feet on the earth, deep breathing and even meditating. It’s not about perfection. As humans, we are always a work in progress.
His words of advice to his younger self: “I’m rooting for you.” He recognizes that his younger self came equipped with everything he needed for the journey ahead.
You can learn more about Xavier and his work right here: https://www.xavierdagba.com/